I need to take a break from our regularly scheduled program of sarcasm and humor to be completely open and honest with you – aka the 7 people who actually read this stream of consciousness (hi mom).
I am in a really deep pit of homesickness at the moment. There. I said it. Now you know.
While my friends and family back home are never far from my mind, the other night, our good friends here invited us over to their house to drink wine and hang out with their parents. It was a truly lovely evening and mostly, it was just nice to be around family, even if it wasn’t our own. And I found myself really missing my own parents way more than usual.
If that wasn’t enough, the next evening, as we sat down for dinner, I realized that my dad and stepmom sent us a card that said they missed us. And I lost it. Like lost it lost it. I literally ate tears with a side of pasta that evening.
Then last night, I finally had a break from German class and I used that time to video chat with folks back home. While I was definitely tearing up while talking with them, I broke down again after hanging up. I know…enough with the crying, right?
But this is what I think happens… every time I start missing folks back home too much, I just sort of bury it down deep. Then slowly little things happen that cause those feelings to bubble up. I see a recipe I want to cook with my mom or I see pictures of my family at our annual beach trip or I hang out at a wine bar and wish that my friends back home could be there because I know they would love the bangin’ cheese plate…all these little things start pushing those feelings to the top and something small like a card or seeing that my mom put taco seasoning in our Easter basket sends me into overdrive and I can’t stop crying. It’s a little absurd but that’s my theory.
I feel its important to say that none of this is reflection of our life here. We are having a lot of fun…like a ridiculous amount. We have a great group of friends who I am so thankful for and we truly love this city. It just can feel bittersweet at times because you want to share this with the people you love and care about and you can’t.
I remember having a similar experience when I first moved to Los Angeles so I know this is a natural thing and it will pass (the uncontrollable crying episodes, not the missing you part). But in the meantime, just know that every Skype session, email, card, text message, call, (you get the idea) means the world to us and helps get us through until we see you again.