It’s Friday and I’m in a mood so I am bringing you the top things I rant about on a constant basis (Yes, its another list. I read way too much Buzzfeed. Its a problem.).
1. Places with nonsensical opening hours: At first, I thought it was just the banks that had wonky hours but now I realize, its pretty much everything. You want to register for that German class? Well you can only come between 9-11am on Mondays or 2-4pm on Thursdays. Super convenient for those who work full-time. You want to pick up your driver’s license? Well on Mondays and Fridays, we are open from 7:30-12 then on Tuesdays from 1-3pm. Do not even ask us about being open on Wednesdays or the weekends because that would be ridiculous. You want to get your tickets for Oktoberfest? Our website says we are open until 7pm but when you show up at 5pm, we will already be closed. Because we felt like it, k?

3. Simple Things Made Difficult: If there was an Olympic sport for making simple requests or processes difficult, Germany would win the gold every time. I love my adopted country but they really make you work for everything.
Did you just move and need to change your address? Well you need to bring your passport and the original signed lease down to the Citizens Office (Bürgerburo), often having to stand in line before they open at 730am. And do not even thinking of bringing a measly copy of your required documentation. Original versions only…including your college diplomas. We don’t give a funyon that they are currently being displayed in your living room in really nice wooden frames. If you want that visa, you better bust them out.
Honestly, I could provide a lot of examples in this overall category but I have no interest in writing a book.
My first experience with this was at the gyno (I KNOW). The appointment typically occurs in the the doctors office, which also has the examination table in it. After talking with you for a bit, they tell you to disrobe…but they don’t leave. They stand there and wait for you to depants. So you basically strip for them before walking across the room to the table naked. I always assumed that if I were ever in this situation, I’d at least have $1 bills being thrown at me.
Thinking that may have been only applicable to gynecologists, I had to get a MRI on my knee last summer and again, was asked to take off my pants but given nothing to cover up with. I had the privilege of walking into the cold room with the MRI machine and getting situated in nothing but my t-shirt and underwear. All my goods were just out there and I wasn’t even offered a blanket or cuddle. Rude.
Ask them who won WW II. Have you learned. Back of the line butthead in German yet😎
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